Thursday, August 4, 2011

I MAKE UP WITH NIXIE



Aug 4th 2011, 14:48 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I locked eyes with Nixie.  She smiled.  So did Makemake.

I can't even begin to tell you how weird this love triangle gets.


"Nixie!  You came for me!  I'm so happy!  Now will you tell this guard I'm innocent, that I didn't kill that zonbi and that I'm not a murderer?!"

Nixie's smile faded.  She crossed her arms, dropped her chin and squinted her eyes.

"I haven't seen you for a while and the first thing you do is boss me around?  Don't you have something you want to say to me first?!"

"I have something I want to say to you," Makemake said, butting in on our conversation.  He brought his massive frame close to the cell's bars, stooped to Nixie's height and lifted up his eyepatch so he could see better.  

"What I'm seeing in front of me is making my rock so hard I couldn't (asteroid) belt tuck it if I tried.  Why don't you ditch this scronny writer and come sail the sable seas of outer space with a salty pirate?  I promise I won't treat you like he does."

Nixie made a sour face.

"Ew!  Gross.  You've got more scars than skin and a bottle sticking out of your head.  As if," she said, poof-be-gone'ing him.

"I do have something to say, Nixie," I said, stepping in front of Makemake.  "Or maybe sing.  It goes a little something like this:

Gonna tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
I've been listening to your reasoning
It makes no sense at all

We should tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost

It wasn't me."

The silence that reigned thereafter was profound.  So was the look of absolute disbelief on Nixie's face.

"Shaggy?!  You want to apologize to me with lyrics from 'It Wasn't Me'?"

I didn't know what to say.

"Uhhh... ummmm, well, I asked all my friends on Twitter for advice on how to best apologize, and @BunnyOnPlanetQ sent me a YouTube link to Shaggy's music video."

"How is that an apology?" Nixie asked.  Her arms were crossed, her mouth was set and her feet were tapping.  This wasn't going well.

"I don't know, Nixieeeeeee," I said pitifully.  "Look: I wanted to say I'm sorry, but I wanted it to be really perfect, but I know I'm no good with that kind of stuff, so I asked all my friends back on Earth and that was the best we could do.  I really wanted you to know that I messed up, that I'm sorry, and that I'm glad you're back.  I just wanted to make sure I said the right thing but I guess I goofed it up."

I dropped my head in shame.  But Nixie reached through the bars and held my chin up with her delicate hand; it felt cold and elegant, like outer space.

"You just said the right thing, merman.  Now, let's break you out of jail."

She looked over her right shoulder.

"GUARD!"


---


WHAT should I do, Flybrarians?


(A) Play it cool.  Thank the guard even though he's a D-BAG THAT I DOUBLE-BOUNCED, take Nixie in the crook of my arm and walk outta there.


(B) PUNCH that d-bag guard in the FACE when he opens the jail door and break outta that cell like a boss, but give Captain Makemake the opportunity to escape AND get the police back on my case for attacking a cop!


Vote (A) or (B) in the comments section below, on Facebook or @EOHatterpol.  Storyline ideas can be mailed to EOHatterpol[at]gmail[dot]com.

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