I GET ARRESTED BY STARBASE POLICE

Jul 28th 2011, 23:54 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

FEMALE gymnasts sprang into action.  Heartbreak raised both his bulbous fists.  I held my breath.


What happened next would have been unbelievable if something still more preposterous hadn't happened right in the middle of it.

HEARTBREAK TRIES TO INSPIRE ME

Jul 28th 2011, 14:32 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

"Aw, maaaan!" I said bitterly, bent over double.  I was clutching my knees, heaving, trying to fill lungs that didn't seem inflatable for the moment.  "Nothing happened!  So why do I feel so exhausted, then?"

M-M-M-MORE FEMALE GYMNASTS?!?!

Jul 27th 2011, 10:22 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

"IT'S A juh-juh-juh-juh-GYMNASIUM, BRO?!?!" I sputtered.  "Un- uneven bars?!  Pommel huh-huh-huh-horses?!  Fluh- fluh- fluh- FLOOR EXERCISE?!?!"

HEARTBREAK GIVES ME HIS BACKSTORY

Jul 26th 2011, 08:39 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I GAVE Heartbreak a good look from the side of my cloudy eyes, then reluctantly put my hand in his boxing glove.

I GET CONFUSED BY MY OWN NEW POWERS

Jul 25th 2011, 13:13 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I slid down the wall and crumpled into a heap of pain, dazed by Heartbreak's Hurricane Haymaker.  I only have half a grasp on everything that happened next.

HEARTBREAK'S HURRICANE HAYMAKER!

Jul 22nd 2011, 08:39 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I GRABBED a glass of water from the crowd, drank some, then splurted it all back out in astonishment.

“I have to fight YOU!?”

A NEW CHALLENGER

Jul 21st 2011, 08:23 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

SHE WRAPPED her legs around my neck.

Normally, I'd be happy to write that sentence, but not today.  Because then the female gymnast bent back, got her hands underneath her and whiplashed my poor skull into the concrete.

FEMALE GYMNASTS -- MY WORST NIGHTMARE!

Jul 20th 2011, 08:19 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

“WHAT?!” I said incredulously.  “But – oh, shell no, man! – but I haven't even stretched out yet!!”

HEARTBREAK'S RAGGA DANCEHALL

Jul 19th 2011, 13:43 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

“STEAL drums.”

The crotch-level slat slid shut, eight-some-odd locks clicked open and the rusty metal door swang inwards.  This was it.

DOWN TENTACLE SIX

Jul 18th 2011, 14:08 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I WOKE up under a mountain of confetti.  Some janitor's broom must have swept the celebration's leftovers over me, because it was in my eardrums, my nostrils and between gum and cheek.  I felt disgusting, and my tongue was thickly swollen.  If I didn't know better, I would have sworn I had a raging hangover to make the Dryheave Lounge proud.

THYME & RED LYGHTNING

Jul 15th 2011, 08:29 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

Despite being dragged in disgrace through Starbase Octopus by his former boss and comrade, Captain Makemake was still wearing his trademark smile.  I called it "grinsanity".

A PIRATE'S PARADE

Jul 15th 2011, 08:22 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I had angry Starbase policemen stuck to the velcro walls in the trampoline room behind me and a military bagpipe band surrounded by spectators in front of me.  Where the shell was I supposed to go?

SNEAKING THROUGH STARBASE OCTOPUS

Jul 15th 2011, 08:17 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I may have torn out of that bar like Rip, but I was soon forced to slow to a sneaky snail's pace.  There were just too many places where I could be recognized and arrested by Starbase policemen or recognized and reported by stupid tourist fartfaces.

LINGERING CAPTAIN MAKEMAKE TRAUMA

Jul 12th 2011, 16:41 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I WAS stunned, to be honest.  Stunned and a little confused, too.  I had just had a strange conversation with Heartbreak about a secret fight club on Starbase Octopus.

HEARTBREAK TELLS ME A SECRET

Jul 11th 2011, 16:41 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

"How?" I demanded irritably.  "How am I going to win back all that money I just lost, huh?  It wasn't even mine to lose!"

I MAKE A HUGE MISTAKE

Jul 8th 2011, 16:17 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

"What was that bug, anyways?" I said, looking around on the ground for the critter. It had to have been close, because I could still hear its mechanical chatter.

ANOTHER BUG, EWW - SMOOSH IT!

Jul 5th 2011, 15:59 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I RAN like the Ayatollah from one side of Calamari Casinos way over to the other.  I didn't want to take any chances of being recognized again.

WELCOME TO CALAMARI CASINOS!

Jul 5th 2011, 15:59 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

Think, I thought.  What's the one thing you could do on Starbase Octopus to win Nixie back & prove to her that you're a bad-ass?

NIXIE GIVES ME THE SHOLD COULDER

Jul 1st 2011, 23:45 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

"Nixie, wait up a second!  Just hold on one minute & listen to me real quick!"