"Get thee behind me!" I shouted, stepping in front of Nixie. I looked the monster straight in her eyes; she looked like a pale folkloric demon from a Japanese horror flick. "Who the shell are you and what's wrong with your face?" I demanded.
NIXIE looked gorgeous, even prettier than I remembered from Monday. We had met spontaneously then, but I could tell she had taken some time in her closet and in front of the mirror today before meeting me at the StarLight Espresso Bar.
"HERE - have another swig of this," said Colonel Condor, passing me a leather skin full of sweet-tasting liquor. "And make sure you waggle your throat while you knock it back. That'll get you good & ready for my story."
FIVE planets, three dwarf planets, forty pirate ships, twelve asteroid tanks, seventeen killer whales, one insanely evil salty space pirate and 114,149,830,000 miles later, we've made it to Starbase Octopus!
WHITE light filled the cavern, filled my space helmet, filled my very bones with a crushing heat and unbearable noise. It sounded like a near-infinite string of bombs were exploding all around us, all the time, forever.
"YOU CAN'T PUT MONEY UNDER FREE PARKING," Captain Makemake shouted in rage. "THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SPACE, IDIOT. WHEN YOU LAND THERE, YOU'RE SAFE BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY RENT TO ANYONE. IT'S FREE PARKING, NUMBSKULL. FREE."