Thursday, June 30, 2011

GOTTA CATCH NIXIE!



Jun 30th 2011, 21:38 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


"Hey!  Come back here, murderer!  Come back here & face great justice!"

E O HATTERPOL: OUTLAW?!



Jun 30th 2011, 16:12 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I COULDN'T believe it: I had barely spent any time with Nixie & she already thought I was a coward & a pervert!  I am definitely NOT a pervert.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

NIXIE LEFT ME!



Jun 29th 2011, 08:23 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


"WE HAVE to report this to the Help & Welcome department," Nixie said, still cradling the dead girl in her arms.  "They need to know something's wrong on Starbase Octopus."

Monday, June 27, 2011

WHAT THE SHELL IS A ZONBI?



Jun 27th 2011, 14:48 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


"Get thee behind me!" I shouted, stepping in front of Nixie.  I looked the monster straight in her eyes; she looked like a pale folkloric demon from a Japanese horror flick.  "Who the shell are you and what's wrong with your face?" I demanded.

Friday, June 24, 2011

MY DATE WITH NIXIE DOESN'T END WELL



Jun 24th 2011, 14:48 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


NIXIE looked gorgeous, even prettier than I remembered from Monday.  We had met spontaneously then, but I could tell she had taken some time in her closet and in front of the mirror today before meeting me at the StarLight Espresso Bar.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

SERGEANT LIKES-TO-FIGHT



Jun 23rd 2011, 14:45 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


"HERE - have another swig of this," said Colonel Condor, passing me a leather skin full of sweet-tasting liquor.  "And make sure you waggle your throat while you knock it back.  That'll get you good & ready for my story."

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

THE DRYHEAVE LOUNGE



Jun 22nd 2011, 15:13 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


"DO WHAT?!" I said in disbelief.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

COLONEL CONDOR'S BALLS ARE HARDER



Jun 21st 2011, 16:04 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


"Hello!" I said nervously.  "My name is Colonel Condor."

Monday, June 20, 2011

HOT CHICKS & CONDORSTACHES



Jun 20th 2011, 14:45 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN


♪ ♪ ♫ I JUST got a daaate! ♫ ♪ ♫ I just got a daaaate! ♫ ♫

Friday, June 17, 2011

STARBASE HO!



Jun 17th 2011, 08:21 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

FIVE planets, three dwarf planets, forty pirate ships, twelve asteroid tanks, seventeen killer whales, one insanely evil salty space pirate and 114,149,830,000 miles later, we've made it to Starbase Octopus!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

YAHTZEE!



Jun 16th 2011, 14:30 by E O Hatterpol | 1180 AU FROM SUN


I SHOOK my head to knock the clouds out and surveyed the damage.  Ravi the Stompyface had levelled the bookstacks in every direction as far as the eye could see.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

RAVI THE STOMPYFACE



Jun 15th 2011, 14:45 by E O Hatterpol | 1133 AU FROM SUN

The Canon smacked into the mountain of books, and for a moment all was still.  And then it suddenly burrowed itself deep into the pile, disappearing from sight.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

THE RETURN OF RAVISIUS TEXTOR



Jun 14th 2011, 14:52 by E O Hatterpol | 1087 AU FROM SUN


CAPTAIN Makemake was hot on my tail, sparks flying from a silvery glint on the hand he was using to zipline down the harpoon cable.

Monday, June 13, 2011

FORGIVE ME!



Jun 13th 2011, 15:09 by E O Hatterpol | 1042 AU FROM SUN

"COORDINATES!" Captain Makemake screamed over the silent din of gunfire in outer space.

Friday, June 10, 2011

GOTCHA!



Jun 10th 2011, 15:45 by E O Hatterpol | 913 AU FROM SUN


CAPTAIN Makemake's Meteor Knee was a giant ball of flaming death burning fear into my corneas.  But I stood my ground until I could smell the sweat of his armpits.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

E O HATTERPOL VS CAPTAIN MAKEMAKE: BATTLE CONTINUE!



Jun 9th 2011, 16:19 by E O Hatterpol | 872 AU FROM SUN

WHITE light filled the cavern, filled my space helmet, filled my very bones with a crushing heat and unbearable noise.  It sounded like a near-infinite string of bombs were exploding all around us, all the time, forever.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

COLONEL CONDOR'S EXPLOSIVE DEBUT



Jun 8th 2011, 11:44 by E O Hatterpol | 832 AU FROM SUN


"CAPTAIN Makemake wants to play games?" Colonel Condor drawled slowly with a grin.  "Then here comes a new challenger."

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

RAVI VS MAKEMAKE: BATTLE BEGIN!



Jun 7th 2011, 15:23 by E O Hatterpol | 793 AU FROM SUN


CAPTAIN Makemake lunged at Ravi with a sweep kick. The battle between books & pirate had begun.

Monday, June 6, 2011

CAPTAIN MAKEMAKE'S "MOUSE TRAP"!



Jun 6th 2011, 15:38 by E O Hatterpol | 755 AU FROM SUN


I THREW my feet under me, made some whirring noises and then sprang bottle-first towards Makemake's massive chest.  I was going to CUT that bastard.

Friday, June 3, 2011

GAME OVER, MAKEMAKE



Jun 3rd 2011, 14:10 by E O Hatterpol | 647 AU FROM SUN


WE PUSHED deeper and deeper into the cold crater tunnel, keeping just ahead of the murderous space pirates chasing us.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

MAKEMAKE'S GAMES



Jun 2nd 2011, 14:26 by E O Hatterpol | 613 AU FROM SUN


"YOU CAN'T PUT MONEY UNDER FREE PARKING," Captain Makemake shouted in rage.  "THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SPACE, IDIOT.  WHEN YOU LAND THERE, YOU'RE SAFE BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY RENT TO ANYONE.  IT'S FREE PARKING, NUMBSKULL.  FREE."

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

LET'S BOOK IT!



Jun 1st 2011, 14:04 by E O Hatterpol | 580 AU FROM SUN


"Knows where what!?" I shouted, shaking the pirate's corpse by the shoulders.