HEARTBREAK'S HURRICANE HAYMAKER!

Jul 22nd 2011, 08:39 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I GRABBED a glass of water from the crowd, drank some, then splurted it all back out in astonishment.

“I have to fight YOU!?”

“That's one of my girls,” Heartbreak said.  “I've got to avenge her, haven't I?  Plus, I want to see what you've got!”

The gamblers flew into a frenzy... but only a courageous few put their money on me this time.  That pissed me off – I'd show them!  I kind of had to; after all, I had just placed all the loot I had just won on a new bet.  And I had bet on myself to win.

“Let's do it, then!” I cried.

The DJ took that as his cue to ratchet up the volume again.  The chest-thumping beats of the Dancehall filled me at once with fire and fear.  I pulled my bookshield close and tightened down on the neck of my beer sword.

Heartbreak hopped suddenly into my face and threw some quick jabs -- hup-hup--HAH!  The first two connected but I got my elbow in front of the third.  That ish hurt, though; either his fists were rock-solid or he had stuffed his gloves with something rock-solid.  Either way, I was screwed.

I pushed him away with Discussions on All Manner of Subjects by Fartface Monks and backed up myself, digging my feet in.  Heartbreak was too powerful; it had to be my super or nothing.  Of course, it wasn't really my "super", because I didn't have any magical powers.  Nobody does.


So I gritted my teeth and stretched out my sword behind me.


"woomp, woomp, Woomp, Woomp, WOOMP, WOOMP, WOOMP!!, WOOMP!!!"

At first, Heartbreak didn't know what I was doing, which was fine for me because the longer I charged up, the more devastating the blow.  But then he got impatient and tried hopping back into my fight zone again.

“Huzzaahhhhhhhhhhhhh, yo!”

I whirled around like I had done in the past, slicing three-sixty degrees at waist level.

But this time, a whorling blue energy seared across along with it, something I hadn't ever expected.  My beer sword became something greater -- something more devastating -- something... something... something magical.


My mouth dropped open in shock.  I had torn Heartbreak's stomach open; it was awash in blood.  Even worse, out of the corner of my eyes, I saw I had disemboweled three or four spectators on either side, too.  Eight or nine people were dead!


What the shell had I just –

“HURRICANE HAYMAKER!!!”

Heartbreak phased across the floor, leaving a trail of his own images behind him.  His outstretched fist looked like the eye of a hurricane ripping across the Dominican Republic.  I was still so caught off-guard from my own unexpected strength that I could only widen my eyes in fear.  His fist connected full-on with my face.

My feet came straight out of my shoes like I had been struck by a car crossing the street; my bookshield and beer sword burst out of my hands and went flying who knows where like a punk skier's poles busting hard on the backside of a gigantic snowboard jump.  And then I flew eighty feet down the Dance Hall, completely blown away and bent over like a billfold, until I smacked the concrete wall with a sickening crack.