ANOTHER BUG, EWW - SMOOSH IT!

Jul 5th 2011, 15:59 by E O Hatterpol | 1228 AU FROM SUN

I RAN like the Ayatollah from one side of Calamari Casinos way over to the other.  I didn't want to take any chances of being recognized again.


I found a huge crowd of people watching table craps & slipped into their numbers unnoticed.  How better to blend in at a casino than to join a group of oglers looking to pick up on some other dice roller's luck?


It turned out the lucky dice roller was more fun to watch than the game he was playing.  He was a tall, muscular, light-skinned black guy in a crisp tuxedo with at least nine girls on his arm.  


His hair was short on top, shaved to the scalp on the sides & back, & parted down the middle; he had taken the time to twirl his bangs into dapper curls.  He had a moustache, too, and he had matched its twirling flourish to his fringe.


"Here's some more luck for you, Heartbreak," said one of his girls evenly.  She bent over to blow on his dice before he threw them, turning her back to me.  That's when I smacked the ish out of it.


"Ow!  What'd you go & do that for?" she complained.  "Heartbreak!  He's hurting me!"


This is about the time I noticed Heartbreak was wearing boxing gloves.  A high roller in a tuxedo & boxing gloves at once?  That couldn't be good.


"No, I'm not hurting you -- I'm helping you!" I protested.  


And then, under my breath: "What's with the false accusations, maaaan..."


"You had a bug on your shoulder, and it was huge, and it was nasty, and I swatted if off you before it could lay eggs in your pearl earrings," I said.


The girl was aghast.  She couldn't tell which was more offensive: me or the bug.  In fairness, I had been smug, but only because I was being accused unjustly by a lot of people & she just happened to be the person I ran out of patience with.  She opened her mouth to speak her mind, but Heartbreak held up a boxing glove for silence.


He turned his boxing glove upwards & opened his fist.  Two dice lay inside.


"Thank you for helping my lady, stranger.  Care to step up & throw the dice yourself?  I'm sure you'll get lucky."