Apr 1st 2011, 11:10 by E O Hatterpol | BETWEEN NEPTUNE & PLUTO
SOS
SOS
SOS
DAMAGE TO LEFT FLIPPER. CAPTAIN REPORTS LOSS OF STEERING. CAREENING TOWARDS KUIPER BELT; COLLISION COURSE DAYS, HOURS AWAY EVEN.
ALL LEFT FLIPPER PERSONNEL SUCKED OUT TO SPACE. LOSING POWER TO ATMOSPHERIC SYSTEMS; TEMPERATURE ABOARD FLYBRARY ALREADY AT 15 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT.
NOT TRAINED TO RESPOND. ONLY A WRITER. CAN ONLY WRITE FOR HELP.
SOS
SOS
SOS
I am a mere writer myself, but I spent a week in primary school training to pilot the abandoned UFO I was certain I'd find one day in the woods nearby. I can help!
ReplyDelete...Wait. This isn't some macabre sort of April Fool's humor, is it?
It totally is, Ms Walton! APRIL FOOL'S!!
ReplyDeleteI know, I know - that was totally messed up, wasn't it?! I can't help myself, though, because April Fool's is my favourite holiday!
I've actually been working away in the library this whole time with plenty of hot beverages.
So no worries, OK? Captain says we'll be to Pluto by Monday or thereabouts.
As for me, I'm off to celebrate my little prank with a pint down at the Whale's Liver!
"Messed up"? "MESSED UP"?! What, praytell, do you expect me to do with the intergalactic Aetherfleet I just amassed to go rescue your poor souls? April Fool's...bah!
ReplyDeleteActually, I'm having a ball with it. I've now convinced several friends that I'm giving up on writing for "Doctor Who" because Moffat has decided to replace Matt Smith with Orlando Bloom and have Elton John remix the theme into a romantic ballad. They're all horrified by the news! ;D
Intergalactic Ætherfleet... that's heavy. Maybe you can send them on a mission of exploration? That seems to work well for most.
ReplyDeleteWe're almost to Pluto & wondering if it should still be called a planet. Leave your thoughts on FB or Twitter!
Oh, dear. It seems a few members of the Fleet got to your post before I did. Some thought the idea of becoming intrepid, dashing explorers of the Multiverse seemed fantastic, but some now think it was MY idea to consign them to "namby-pambiness" after promising them an heroic rescue of a dying ship...
ReplyDeleteThey have now split into camps and are stationed on opposite sides of Bellerophon (or 51 Pegasi b...which is SUCH a boring name in comparison!) hurling insults, tissue paper, and the occassional annoying intern at each other. What a mess! I'll have to pop out there and sort this. If I happen to pass by Pluto, I'll send out a hail-shot and some lemon cookies!
Sounds like you've got a mess on your hands, Ms Walton. Sorry!! Most of my friends quickly learn to mark 1 April in bold on their calendars, LOL!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck at Bellerophon! Maybe we can coordinate our calendars to rendezvous at the Homesphære?