PLUTO: CLEAN UP YOUR ACT

Apr 4th 2011, 15:44 by E O Hatterpol | PLUTO

AHOY, Flybrarians!  Most of you have caught wind of my April Fool's joke by now.  Just to be clear: we are in no danger of any kind; the Starship Flybrary is intact, left flipper & all; & we have full power to both our climate control system & escape pods.

Remember: the blue whale is some 45 million years old, and I like to think our humble, intergalactic public library embodies that spirit of longevity.  Our Flybrary, like the mighty blue whale, has evolved to survive long-distance treks under difficult conditions.

If pirates attacked, that'd be one thing, but we're not going to break in half for no reason!

- - -

IN OTHER news: it took the weekend, but we're finally to Pluto.  I found this incredible image on Wikipedia that should give you an idea of what this dwarf planet looks like from the BPOD.

Speaking of "dwarf planet": after seeing it up close, I'm convinced the International Astronomical Union (IAU) made the correct decision in 2006, but I'm still not sure they made the right one.

The case against Pluto: we've found other dwarf planets that are larger than Pluto, it isn't massive enough to clear debris out of its orbital path & it's really more of a binary system with its principal moon, Charon (which should probably be reclassified as a dwarf planet itself).

The case for Pluto: it's been a bleeding planet for 76 years!  If some august body awarded me an honorary Ph.D. & then decided later I didn't really deserve it, I'd be pissed off!  The IAU should do the gentlemanly thing & let poor Pluto keep its dignity.

I've been researching in the library, though, & I think I've come across an even sneakier reason.  If astronomers had made the decision to let Pluto keep its planetary status, they would have been forced to award the same title to at least four other bodies in our solar system.  They'd have to keep adding planets as we discovered them, too.

I guess the IAU would rather nip our expanding solar system in the bud rather than do the work needed to truly represent its scope.

I mean, how cool would it be to have a binary planet system in our neighborhood?  How would that change the way we view ourselves, or how we explore?  Can you imagine a holiday destination that offered not one, but two planets full of fun & adventure?  It'd be like Walt Disney World & Disneyland in space.

(Disney: please contact me if you're interested in developing this idea when I get back from the Homesphære.  Just post a note to my Facebook page or send me a tweet.)

Dwarf planet, real planet, binary system or planet with moon: it's still up for debate.  But there is one thing I can say with certainty: once you've seen it with your own eyes, it doesn't matter what you call Pluto.  It's amazing, & kind of crazy & sad, too, because it makes me realize I'm running out of solar system.

Pretty soon, it's just going to be me, the blue whale & interstellar space.

Wish me luck!