Wednesday, March 30, 2011

URANUS IS BLUE, NOT BROWN



Mar 30th 2011, 10:31 by E O Hatterpol | URANUS ORBIT


WHAT happened to Tuesday?  Am I losing track of time that badly out here, after only two weeks?  No; that can't be right!


I don't remember much about yesterday, but I bet I could retrace my steps.  Let's see... I started off like always, booting up my computer & hopping on the Twittersphære; got caught up on all the latest updates... oh! then I saw that sweet picture from NASA, that one of the Sahara Desert spotted via satellite.  That photograph was stunning.


I remember getting pretty thirsty looking at that parched landscape; my throat started itching something fierce.  I drank some water, but I was still thirsty.  I had my morning cup of tea, too, but I was still thirsty.  Finally, I decided that if I was gonna quit this thirst, I'd need something stron-


Hey, I remember now!  I went down to "The Whale's Liver" for a drink, that's what I did!  Sure, it wasn't but 11:00 in the morning, but what's the "morning" out here, anyways?  The Starship Flybrary is teeming with people at all hours, right 'round the clock; the Captain has actually set up a dual shift system to keep the essential posts manned at all times.


The day workers call themselves the Left Hemispheres & the night workers call themselves the Right Hemispheres, after the fact that blue whales can only shut down one half of their brain at a time; the other half must stay awake in order to make the conscious mammalian decision to breathe.


So what is an interstellar travel writer to do?  I had a terrible thirst in my throat, as if some little devil had salted it while I was snoring; I had no choice but to find something smooth.  When I showed up to the pub, there was a rowdy bunch of Right Hemispheres tying one on after their shift.  I couldn't refuse their invitation, now could I?  I am trying to make friends on this starship, aren't I?


Long story short, Uranus looks calm and smooth from my vantage point atop the BPOD - the exact opposite of my whiny, pounding forehead.  It's a gas giant, like Jupiter & Saturn, but its heavier concentration of water, ammonia & methane has lead it to be further classified as an "ice giant".


I bet its rocky ice core would feel pretty good across my ragged brow right now.  I'm so close to the planet, I could almost dip my aching noggin into its placid, blue atmosphere, where the highs on any given day only reach -371.2 degrees Fahrenheit.  I bet that'd take the edge off!


Bleh!  I'll never go back to The Whale's Liver again!  Well... maybe just not so early in the morning.  I think I'm gonna crack a BC Powder and lounge this one off at the library; I'll see you chipper Flybrarians at Neptune.

No comments:

Post a Comment